Mom was right!

First, a housekeeping thing. My office has changed its name to emphasize wellness and so has dropped massage from the title, though it still houses me and the two massage therapists. So if you've never been to my office, now you're looking for the Bishop Arts Wellness Center.

On to the post. Don't forget to call your mom on Sunday.

Don't cross your legs. Not because it makes your skirt hike up in an entirely unladylike fashion, but for a couple of reasons important to both appearances and general health. Men, too. Keep reading. Crossing your legs ties up your energy, restricting flow. It does the same thing to blood, and not only energetic, but structural balance.

I'm not knocking the feet, but your feet are not your body's foundation. In this day and age, most people sit a lot more than they stand. Your body's foundation is the pelvis. Biggest bone in the body (shut up if you're trying to make a double entendre out of that. You kiss your mother with that mouth?), and our legs are rooted in the pelvis. So what happens when you cross your legs? You twist. Eventually, your body shifts. Ever see what happens to a house when the foundation starts to shear? So what do you think is going to happen with your body when your pelvis is tilted? Your legs become not the same length, and your back, shoulders, and everything becomes unbalanced and has to compensate. In my one brief foray into homeownership, the foundation did start to slip. All the windows and doors on the east side of the building started to leak. What else is protected by the pelvis? Keep yourself in good shape. Depends and Detrol aren't necessarily inevitable.

And if that's not enough, take a look around, as it's becoming shorts weather. Most of the time, you can look behind the knees and see who crosses which leg. Stop this habit before your visible veins become varicose veins. Varicose veins are not only ugly, but they can become painful and ulcerated and cause skin problems. Venous problems generally indicate an insufficient valve, and when vessels and valves are not smooth, this invites clots and/or bacterial infection. And that's a whole other topic, how plaque builds up in your circulatory system and valves weaken over time. But no need to speed things along.

fat and taxes

So I was sorting through boxes of paper in the aftermath of my taxes, and I realized that it was an illustration for weight loss. Keep reading. I'm serious. In my scheme of organization, for the things that are not filed properly, there is short term storage (the inbox/trays on my desk, my purse for the mail I picked up at the office) and long term storage (put in a box and deal with it later). Our bodies have short term storage and long term storage. Short term is glycogen, primarily stored in the muscles so it's right there and easy to use when needed. Long term, obviously, is fat.

As an aside, let me tell you, weight loss isn't as simple as eating less. Generally, this is what one needs to do. However, there is a lot going on in your body. So. Consider the human body. Water, proteins, fats, DNA, ATP, bunch of other acronyms you probably don't remember from science class. Being good to your body is giving it what it needs. Do you know how batty it makes me when people equate "being good" to starvation? "I've been eating good, like salads and fruit." First of all, it's "eating well," but fruit is basically sugar and water. Closer to nature than Cheetos, but one cannot survive on strawberries alone. "I'll just stop eating meat; you never see a fat vegetarian, right?" Actually, I have seen a fat vegetarian before; that was most of the hippie wannabes in my high school class, though most of them were substituting Oreos for entrees. What you do need is as important as what you don't, and it's a whole other rant for another time.

Anyway, we have to be trained to properly use short term storage. I mean to be good about it, either file immediately or go from mailbox to inbox to sort out and either filed or shredded and recycled, within the week. I've realized I've gone through several months throwing stuff in boxes to deal with later. And in cleaning out the boxes, I've found stuff from, oh, 5 or 6 apartments ago. Last in, first out. Just like fat. I've been digging deep and finding from important things like W-2s to as mundane as grocery receipts. I'm telling you, if I miss a few appointments, chances are I'm in jail because I never opened a call to jury duty! (I'm getting much better about opening my mail, really!)

We are lazy. Our bodies are lazy. (No, really, it's called efficient.) Just as I am never going to put my receipts in a file or open my mail within a week unless there's a damn good reason (tax time!), our bodies are not going to store as glycogen unless they expect to need a quick energy source. That weekly 8am meeting with your boss totally doesn't count; unfortunately mental exercise doesn't burn a ton of calories. This is where exercise comes into play. This is why consistency matters so much more than working really hard whenever you get around to it. If you challenge yourself often, your body will get the message that it is going to need to do work and store accordingly. Fat is easy to store and hard to use. It is only through regular exercise that your body will say, "Ultimately it's less work to store as glycogen, because I'll need it later. Might as well keep it close. Just as much as I think I need." Though if you eat more than you use or can store as glycogen, it will be stored as fat. Short term storage is limited space, though your body does optimize it to how much it thinks you'll need. So you still need to set limits on what you eat, especially if you want to make your body use what it has in long term storage.

I remember the last time I really got organized. I think that was in 2003. Labeled the files and everything. My essential papers fit into a single drawer. I think I had maybe half a banker's box worth of old mail. This time I have just managed to shrink 7 boxes into 4 (okay okay, 5, but they're not full), but I'm still working on it. The same principle applies with fitness. Getting organized, getting in shape, it's hard. There is a limit to how far you can let it go and bounce back easily. It is very easy to get off track, and if you're not consistent, you can end up worse than you started the last time. But if you keep at it and learn to make it enjoyable, the rewards are great. Physically, I feel a lot better than I did in high school, and if I don't do cardio three times a week, I get cranky. Find a motivator, if nothing other than maintaining your state now. Maintaining requires work; chaos is a force of nature. I still haven't figured out how to like sorting through papers, but one day I'm going to be able to find a document in less than a week. It's going to be sweet.

Jadescreen

Greetings, readers. I've been taking Claritin every morning since I last wrote, and my eyes and nose are doing a great deal better. Still a little sneezy, but not like last week. Did you know the non-drowsy antihistamines don't work on colds? I had a cold earlier this month, so I'd switched to Benadryl.

Speaking of colds, if you haven't gotten it, you're not out of the woods just yet. I'm looking at the forecast, and while tomorrow will have spring rain, Monday shows a high of 48. One of my patients was saying how her whole front yard was about to bloom, just in time for a hard freeze. Because we're going to have one. Don't get caught out while the weather is making up its mind.

Studies show that cold and wet do not make one more susceptible to catching a cold. I respect science, but I'm going to go with tradition on this one. I definitely believe in controlling exposure, especially handwashing, but I don't think it hurts to keep a comfortable environment as well. I remember reading explanations of how sometimes things happen to make folk wisdom seem true to the uneducated. For example, strong air conditioning dries out the nasal passages, making them more vulnerable to viral invasion. Not the air conditioner, but the virus. To me, that still boils down to "don't stand in front of a vent."

Ancient Chinese didn't know about viruses or bacteria. They called it "wind" and "pathogenic evils." The old remedies kill them just the same.

Qi is the life energy that circulates in all living things. One kind of qi is wei qi, or defensive qi. This circulates at the body surface. It controls the opening and closing of the pores. It protects the interior from pathogens, which enter through the pores. Now, when you go out in cool weather with light clothing, you're depending entirely on your wei qi to protect you from wind invasion.

If your wei qi is strong, science is right. Your defenses probably aren't going to be breached by a little exposure to cold weather. I suspect the type of people in medical studies about the common cold would be prone to have strong wei qi. But if you already know you catch colds easily, you have weak wei qi. Check the weather, dress comfortably, and let your clothes keep the wind out of your pores.

When the weather is unpredictable and settling seasonally, it is a good time to take yu ping feng san. This translates to Jade Windscreen Powder. It's an herbal formula that when taken regularly, boosts wei qi, screening out wind. The jade part was because the herbalists found it to be valuable like jade. Tea samples are available upon request, so call in advance if you'd like to pick some up.

Need for consistency

Gentle reader, as I type this, my eyelids are sandpapery, my nose is raw, and I'm unduly exhausted. I am fondly remembering a long weekend in Chicago this summer when I could breathe easy. What was it about that time? Being away from my cat? The escape from 100+ degree weather?

Well, the temperature isn't brutal yet. If the skin testing is to be believed, I am almost as allergic to dogs as I am to cats. And my friend is just as nuts about her dog as I am about my cat.

You know what I think it is? When you're on vacation, routines tend to go out the window. I try to keep my daily rituals as consistent as possible when I'm away from home, just to establish a sphere of control. In this case, it was keeping my vitamins and Claritin in a little box by my bed, to take every morning.

After 4 days of taking Claritin at the same time every day, I was feeling pretty good. Even managing to wear contact lenses comfortably, which I hadn't been able to do in weeks. Sometimes a medicine or herb really isn't the right one. If you don't take it as directed, you'll never know.

I've been being good. Why do I feel so bad?

Welcome to 2008. By now, you're had a few days to get rested, get rid of your hangover, and start those good habits. Hard, isn't it. Now, I've had friends who have quit smoking, drinking, eating junk food, etc., and it generally feels terrible.

Why? Isn't being healthy supposed to feel good? What about that extra energy, and isn't my immune system supposed to be stronger? Why do I feel so sick?

Legal disclaimer: I am not a doctor. This is informational, not medical advice, and if you think something is really wrong with you, you should go see yours.

Here's the thing; you are not alone in your body. Psych jokes aside, watch the Discovery Channel sometime. You have colonies of like, a zillion, just living at the roots of your eyelashes. Don't be too grossed out. Yet.

There are symbiotic relationships, and there are parasitic relationships. Symbiotic relationships are mutually beneficial. The little fishes that live in shark's teeth get food, and the shark gets its teeth cleaned. Similarly, the nontoxic E. coli in your guts get fed, and they make vitamin K so you don't bleed to death. Parasitic relationships are more one-sided. As you can often see in the winter, mistletoe thrives until the tree it's on withers and dies. Some strains of E. coli feed and reproduce inside you and instead of helping you with vitamin K, produce toxins that make you crap til you die.

Most parasites aren't quite so dramatic. After all, why kill you when they can make a long term, cozy home for themselves? These don't kill you, but they don't make you stronger. They're a nuisance, and you can take steps to make your body inhospitable for them. Your new year's resolutions! So why do you feel awful? Well, if you made dramatic changes, you are killing large numbers of parasites. They don't want to go. They're pissed off. What do animals do when they die? Release a bunch of crap. Which is now floating free in your system. A little bit of parasite waste maybe gives you b.o. and bad breath, makes you feel sluggish, ties up your metabolism so you gain weight, takes the sheen off your skin, hair and nails. The waste released from a massive die-off? Can make your head ache, your body hurt, your sinuses clog, your moods swing, your digestion poor, your nether regions itch, all kinds of badness. Look up herxheimer reactions for more information, but that's it in a nutshell.

Great, so I can go back to drinking and junk food! I knew resolutions were stupid.

Oh, come on. You can still have clearer skin, more energy, and all that. The goal is still to strive for more symbiants than parasites. You can slow down and make changes gradually. Just don't stop. Quitting any vice is extremely difficult. You have entire populations on/in you that are depending on your vices. To improve your health, you are going to have to make your body optimal for you, not the freeloaders. Which means less of the refined sugar, alcohol, and industrial chemicals (Food should not be trademarked. If it is, read the label; you'll likely be horrified.); more of the water and real foods.

I'm not a huge proponent of the concept of "detox," but the time for it is when you're making changes. Detoxing without making changes...what is detox? You sweat more, you pee more, you crap more. If your body is still a petri dish for microorganisms that aren't beneficial to you, then what's the point? The toxins are pretty much just going to build back up in your body. But while
you're making your body less parasite-friendly, you can encourage flushing out of the dead parasites and wastes, and the process will be a lot easier.

So what can you do? Drink plenty of water. Strive to drink as many ounces of water every day as is half your body weight in pounds. Get plenty of fiber in your diet. Gradually get more exercise. Take baths in clean, warm water with epsom salt. Eating only raw fruits and vegetables is not automatically healthy. Learn about nutrition and a real balanced diet. Come in for an ion cleanse. And while the law says I can't claim to treat anything, as acupuncturists are kind of bastard step-children in the field of medicine, the WHO says acupuncture is effective at resolving nausea and pain, and studies show it effective at treating fatigue.

A KISS for the New Year

Yes, I'm totally recycling my rant from last year. Hey, it was a good rant. More soon on why your resolutions are so hard to keep!
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I used to be a codemonkey, and like most codemonkeys, I had cheeky cut-outs taped to my office door. I shared my first office with a couple of people, and already on the door when I moved in, was this wise little snippet.

Eat when you are hungry,
Drink when you are dry.
Sleep when you are tired,
Don't forget to breathe or else you'll die.

In the wellness industry, we are trying to sell you things. Expensive antioxidants. Things to help you sleep, things to wake you up, things to support your thyroid function. Lots of polysyllabic things to target problems you didn't even know you have but are dramatically decreasing your quality of life, and isn't $75 for a bottle of pills worth the greater energy/weight loss/clarity/happiness it promises to bring? Energy drinks are not a substitute for sleep. Diet pills are not a substitute for sensible eating and exercise. Antioxidant pills are not a substitute for eating fruits and vegetables. Be good to yourself. Accept no substitutes. Give yourself the real thing.

Some people really do have thyroid problems. Or a family history of cancer. Or other real medical problems that are truly helped by the latest miracle cure. The rest are spending money because their insecurities have been played like a violin. Keep it simple! (I won't call you stupid.) If you have your basics down and you still need more, I'm cool with whatever product or therapy makes you feel better. Really. Even if it doesn't involve hanging out on my table. If you don't have your basics down, stop. You spent enough money on Christmas. Chances are, in the long run, rereading this poem is going to do more for you than that fountain-of-youth-in-a-bottle. That's probably going to sit on a dusty shelf anyway.

Eat when you are hungry. Are you hungry or are you bored or angry or sad? On the flip side, are you not-hungry or are you too overwhelmed to notice? The wrong answer to the first question will lead to weight gain. The wrong answer to the second will lead to crash and can also lead to weight gain. The cortisol-blockers advertise that stress leads to hormonal changes that lead to weight gain. You know what stress also leads to? Skipping lunch and eating a thousand calories of fast food at 3 in the afternoon. Coming home from work at 7, worrying for half an hour about what's for dinner, and going out for something awful. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anything or anybody else. Snack appropriately. Eat lunch at lunchtime. Plan to eat real food.

Drink when you are dry. Again, are you not-thirsty or are you too busy to notice? While I'm sure there will be a soft-drink mega-corp on Mars eventually, right now they're looking for water. It's the stuff of life; keep some with you.

Sleep when you are tired. Not drink coffee when you're tired. All-nighters are for college kids. And I might add, the only guy I knew to graduate with a 4.0 went to bed by 10 almost every night. You are more efficient on a good night's sleep.

Don't forget to breathe or else you'll die. Well, we're all going to die eventually, but it will greatly improve your outlook and your life if you breathe freely and fully. In order, my favorite reminders to myself to breathe are: 1. Laugh every day. 2. Sing in the car. Loudly. 3. Yoga. Generally, the instructor will remind you to breathe. A lot. 4. Weight lifting. Similar to yoga, you'll find that things are easier on an exhale. Let go. Let your breath nourish your body. Once you stop laughing (I control myself in public classes, but on my mat in my living room alone in front of my tv, I do crack up a bit. Because it does sound a little ridiculous.) you'll realize you can feel what they're talking about.

Happy New Year, everybody. Enjoy the song. You have my permission to dance around your computer.

Season's Greetings to all from Bishop Acupuncture!

As the year draws to a close, like many of you, I am considering my goals for the next year. At the top of the list are to be more helpful to you and to have my practice sustain me as well as itself. To that end, I'd like for you to consider a few questions for the next time we see each other. Why do you come to acupuncture? What, specifically, are you hoping to achieve from our work together? What is your desired end result, and what are some milestones that we can observe along the way to know that our time together is valuable?

Oftentimes on our journey, we get sidetracked. This is definitely true for acupuncture therapy. You may have started to see me with a particular pain or condition and continued to make appointments out of habit. Maybe it's all about relaxation/relief just for now. Maybe you just need periodic tuneups. Maybe you're seeing me for something that you'll only be able to see change or not on your next diagnostic lab. I would really like to know that I'm actively helping you and that you are satisfied with your progress. I want you to be aware of what your goals are, and let me know, for we won't know if you achieve them without identifying them. If I haven't heard from you in a while, I'd love to know how you're doing!

Happy Holidays and best wishes for the new year!

Rate change:
90 minute session, $80
60 minute session: $60
No shows: $45
Cancellations within 24 hours: $30
Outcalls: minimum 1 hour, $1/minute+$0.50/mile, housecalls to current patients only

Because many conditions are easily treated with arm and leg points, and to maximize your session, I do not provide nor charge for table set up on outcalls. We just need you to rest comfortably and have space for me to move around you. I can treat up to four people at a time on an outcall, so this may be an economical option if you have space and know other people who need treatment. Consultations can be done via phone and email, so no worries about discussing your ailments in front of others.

There are times when I am consistently busy after regular business hours, so I will periodically discount $15 for office visits 9-5 M-F, 9-12 Saturday.

In the past I have offered a discount for appointments made within a week; while met with the best intentions on both sides, it has not been as effective as I'd hoped in promoting regular treatment intervals. Acupuncture is a therapy, just as medicine is. There are not many prescriptions that cure with one dose, and more serious conditions require a steady schedule, rather than analgesic as needed. I certainly understand that cost can be a barrier, but if you need regular treatments and can commit the time to getting them, I'm sure we can come up with a compensation plan that is agreeable to both of us.

Referral bonuses:Starting in January, check the web page for monthly incentives!

New service for you:


United Medical Network provides customized nutrition. They have a urinalysis kit to test for deficiencies, a supplement line, and a meal plan. If you're not taking even a multivitamin, why not? While I encourage eating well, sometimes we can't, and there are bound to be some deficiencies. If you're taking many supplements, consider why you are taking them and how they are working for you. You may not need all of them. A test would be a great way to identify your needs. The meal plan is designed by a registered dietician for weight loss, disease prevention, or special needs (allergy, vegetarian, vegan) with cool little nutrient analyses and a grocery list for the week. The prices on this are excellent, and it is customizable, long term, and you can even log your food and exercise to recompute your caloric/nutritional needs.

Gift certificates are available. Call ahead if you're going to be in the neighborhood to make sure someone is in the office. My phone is 972-935-4169; Tyra Quesenberry is at 214-395-7195, if I'm not in town. Alternately, you can purchase an electronic gift certificate through paypal at www.bishopacupuncture.com.